Some recent events this past week has lead to some cleansing pertaining to my family. Unfortunately, for me, family is the cause of some of my storms. My awakening has lead me to different perspectives than what my family now lives. Sometimes they see me as unusual because of my newfound beliefs. The more I live this way, the better I begin to feel good about myself. I’ve compared my past behaviors to my developing ones and I’ve found it much easier to live with my continually evolving spiritual beliefs. It’s safe to say that I am not going back to the constant pain and suffering in past.
Even though I’ve agreed to continue my inner expansion, it’s troublesome to let go of so many things you were used to but I find that it must be done so I can work toward my ultimate spiritual goal. Living so many years with my family I didn’t know anything else than to create storms in others and myself. This mad me very unhappy for so many years. It was the cause of what I call my darker days.
My mother being someone of constant discord had entered once again in my life because I allowed it to. I wanted to be at peace with her. It took her longer than usual to create what could’ve been something great into something sour. The recent situation was something very trivial and could have been resolved in a timely and respectful manner. I’m not sure what attracts my mother to this chaos she seems to enjoy but she began to initiate the negative energy. I kept to my peace and kept to a low tone but my mother becomes blinded by so much.
The storm was created and I was the scapegoat to her attention craving ways. It seems that she has not concept of family when it comes to obtaining this feeling she craves for. I was, at first, hurt over this because the situation was turned into something I had done wrong. My actions curved by her need for attention was carved into harmful intention. She became the innocent victim and I the terrible perpetrator.
I was not angry at this. I had come to terms with my mother and her ways. I know she has her path to follow in this lifetime. Her lessons to learn. But it still doesn’t change the hurt I felt from all of this. Some part of me is hardened because I have been so used to this but my softer part just couldn’t understand it. I began to be pulled into the storm. I began to think like my past self but I pulled myself back into my peace. I detached myself from the actions of others and decided to focus on my own thoughts and actions.
Maybe I can’t pull others into my peace but I have vowed to NEVER be pulled into someone else’s storm.
With Love and Good Intent,
An Awakened Soul