The Storm and Some Peace

1426280_725397497489934_218783935_n

Some recent events this past week has lead to some cleansing pertaining to my family. Unfortunately, for me, family is the cause of some of my storms. My awakening has lead me to different perspectives than what my family now lives. Sometimes they see me as unusual because of my newfound beliefs. The more I live this way, the better I begin to feel good about myself. I’ve compared my past behaviors to my developing ones and I’ve found it much easier to live with my continually evolving spiritual beliefs. It’s safe to say that I am not going back to the constant pain and suffering in past.

Even though I’ve agreed to continue my inner expansion, it’s troublesome to let go of so many things you were used to but I find that it must be done so I can work toward my ultimate spiritual goal. Living so many years with my family I didn’t know anything else than to create storms in others and myself. This mad me very unhappy for so many years. It was the cause of what I call my darker days.

My mother being someone of constant discord had entered once again in my life because I allowed it to. I wanted to be at peace with her. It took her longer than usual to create what could’ve been something great into something sour. The recent situation was something very trivial and could have been resolved in a timely and respectful manner. I’m not sure what attracts my mother to this chaos she seems to enjoy but she began to initiate the negative energy. I kept to my peace and kept to a low tone but my mother becomes blinded by so much.

The storm was created and I was the scapegoat to her attention craving ways. It seems that she has not concept of family when it comes to obtaining this feeling she craves for. I was, at first, hurt over this because the situation was turned into something I had done wrong. My actions curved by her need for attention was carved into harmful intention. She became the innocent victim and I the terrible perpetrator.

I was not angry at this. I had come to terms with my mother and her ways. I know she has her path to follow in this lifetime. Her lessons to learn. But it still doesn’t change the hurt I felt from all of this. Some part of me is hardened because I have been so used to this but my softer part just couldn’t understand it. I began to be pulled into the storm. I began to think like my past self but I pulled myself back into my peace. I detached myself from the actions of others and decided to focus on my own thoughts and actions.

Maybe I can’t pull others into my peace but I have vowed to NEVER be pulled into someone else’s storm.

With Love and Good Intent,

An Awakened Soul

 

Advertisements

The Mountains. The Paths.

Pinnacles Hiking

I went on a hike last Sunday and it was peaceful but tiresome. It made me think about the changes I’ve made and am making right now.

When I arrived at the parking lot and paid my dues, I could only see the beginning of the trail/path. I’ve only been to the Pinnacle Mountains once so I wasn’t familiar with it. I got a map to make sure I’d be ok but when you look at this remarkable woodsy area you do not see any trails/paths. You do not see further down the path until you walk further down the trail. Slightly unnerving but exhilarating at the same time.

I got as far as my body can take me considering I brought only water (kind of a spur of the moment choice). I went up and down. Zig zagged my way up and meditated for a bit because I had a time restraint.

On my way down, I starting thinking on how these paths and trails are very much like our lives. In times of struggle or times when a decision must be made, you do not immediately see a solution. This is just like me seeing the hills and not the paths. It was until I made an effort that I saw where the path was going.

There’s always a solution or a resolution to the things you or I go through. The trail isn’t going to appear automatically but if we continue to move forward and trust we will always find a way. This is especially the case when you feel like things just aren’t going the way you wanted them. You see the mountainous obstacle in front of you but take the time to see the trail. A trail that will lead you over or around your current circumstances.

Being awakened in these times takes time to getting used to but knowing that everything has a way…know that you will be ok will help lessen the load. So find your trail awakened one. Find the path that leads you closer to your heart.

With Love and Good Intent.

The Question. The Truth. The Pulsation.

Today, on my lunch, I was feeling the need to write something. I have previously committed myself to write something even if it isn’t related to the book I’m working on. So, I went to my favorite and only new age store (lives in Christian based community) to breath in some relaxing scents. Please enjoy, this is what I wrote:

The breath I take in swirls around me and resonates within my soul. Eyes shut but my view is that of things I cannot see. It’s life. It’s the pulsation of what’s around me. A vibration of many sorts. It goes by feeling and by sense beyond sensibility.

Unproven until proven holds the minds of many. Imprisoning them to a mold. Limiting their flight and connection. 

Questions may be asked, but when do we satisfy? At what point is questioning enough? It is questioning that leads us to answers and it is those very some answers which propel us into higher vibrations or feeds the beast of fear.

Truth is difficult but it is necessary. For if we did not see our truths, there would be no room to grow our roots. Truth eventually becomes something you are and something you hide. Sitting in ones truth means that you accept yourself. It means you no longer allow others to hold these truths against you.

Once your truth is with you, there will start the pulsation. A connection that needs no explanation. A feeling beyond a reason of a doubt that we are that pulsation.

A Yo-Yo Type of Thing

I know it’s been some time since I last posted something here (four months to be exact) and that’s ok. I’ve been tossed into experience and have come back with more insight within myself, and in turn, with the world we live in. I had quite the experience within the last four months with some struggle.

I like to think of myself as the lotus flower, growing out from the muck of the murky waters and blooming with freshness.

Sometimes we are tossed into the muck of life so that we can grow as an individual. It’s needed at times so we can see thinks in better perspective and become more humble. Creating a perception beyond what is the illusion, which is continuously fed to us from our surrounding.

Anyways, I am here and now. Looking forward to posting some new insights this glorious life has to offer.

It’s been a yo-yo thing and I’m grateful for it.

With Love and Good Intent,

An Awakened Soul

Straying Off the Path?

Lately, I’ve been feeling disconnected and uncertain of so much. This has slowly crept over me in the past two weeks. It got so bad that I allowed myself to fall back on my old negative habits. Then, I let myself feel anger for allowing this poison to reenter my thoughts and tainting what I had worked towards up until now. It had felt like I was being pushed further from my path. Confusion settled and uncertainty gained new ground in my heart. 

Trying to apply all I have taught myself wasn’t working for me anymore. I was losing ground. I was scared to lose the battle. My meditation sessions were not yielding any helpful connotations. I was at a loss. I wasn’t sure what was going on with me but I felt myself no longer grasping wisdom. It felt like I was straying off my path. Losing the balance I once thought I had a firm clutch on. I felt like I was straying off my path. 

Although, I have to admit, I still had my awareness with me. This helped me try to find meaning behind me falling so hard. LIttle by little, I gained more ground. I gained more perspective back. I started to feel enlightened again. 

What was so different? Why was I pushed down back to my old ways? The old ways that made me realize I want an abundant life full of happiness. It was/is a reminder to go back to my humble beginnings. Without being fully conscious, I was allowing my surroundings to affect me.

I had made some choices to bring people into my life again, which I had previously let go. This opened up a floodgate for others to try to enter. Their negativity was sent my way. It had opened old wounds I had spend much time healing. I realized now those wounds were not fully healed. As with most choices, especially those involving family, there will come some pain and suffering. Old feelings will come back up but we must conquer them as the person we are today. We must continue to be consistent with our transformed self with others who continue to see your past shadows. Its difficult to balance but if we can do so with family, we can do so every step of the way with whoever or whatever we encounter.

So, was I straying off the path? I think not. I was always on my path. Nothing really changed but my circumstances. This was/is part of the path I continue to walk. Another lesson to be learned. I am thankful for these lessons.

With Love and Good Intent,

An Awakened Soul

The Past, Future and the NOW

Image

Hello Fellow Awakened Souls!

Lately, I have been having some struggle on my path to continued enlightenment. This problem I had was based on what I was going to do for my future. Because of how I was brought up, I had a tough time accepting what my future was going to look like. 

Before this trouble, I had trouble with my past, which most of the Awakened will have on their journey walking their path. With some work and the help of others, I slowly accepted my past. I let go of the shame, guild and the pain I had attached to my past. It was such a relief to let go of so many attachments I had created by myself and the help of others. My anger turned to love. My sadness turned to joy. I was transforming myself into the radiant soul I know I could and can be! It takes a lot of deep listening and mindful meditation. This we all have access to.

Ok, back to my issue regarding the future. I kept on thinking about how I would get things done. Because at the present moment, I thought I wasn’t enough to obtain the future I want for myself. The future I wanted to share with my family and others. I want to Awaken Souls! I didn’t know how I was going to do it so it sometimes brought me moments of anxiety and sadness. Of course, I have my techniques to rid me of these emotions but they kept on reoccurring. I wanted to find a permanent solution for this. I sent it out there to the Universe to help me in this. 

Yesterday, I watched an episode of Super Soul Sunday. This show is a great show, which showcases great teachers of our times. This particular episode I watched was with Thich Nhat Hanh. One of my favorite episodes thus far. Mostly because something he said resonated within me. I got the message I asked for from God! It was very short and simple but eye opening for me. He said:

“If there is peace and joy and happiness, then the future you have also.”

This was after listening him talk about his tea meditation and being in the here and the now. This totally made sense to me! I guess I knew about this but really did not apply it as masterfully as Thich Nhat Hanh. I was stirred in that moment and had to take a deep breath to take it all in. 

I no longer have to worry about my future! If I live in the here and now with love, peace, joy, and happiness, then that will become my future! I do not need to think about how it will come about. I only need to live with the light of all of these positive emotions. Everything else will follow. This is my permanent solution.

And so I write these words to those who are reading encouraging everyone to accept their past and let go of their future. Live in your here and now. 

With Love and Good Intent,

An Awakened Soul

Surrender to Your Love and Light

Image

Sometimes we need to surrender ourselves so that we are better able to see the world more clearly. Surrendering to the love and the light, which is the Universe, does not mean you are giving up. It just means you are recalibrating yourself, realigning yourself to your true path. Surrendering means you have chosen to let go of things that are no longer working for you. Up until this point you have continued to do the same thing. Has this worked for you? Really take the time to reflect upon your actions because no one else will do it for you. You may realize that you have found little to no progress within your goals. This opens up the floodgates to depression, anger, anxiety and so many other negative emotions.

Be aware of your choices up to this point and make the necessary choices to come back to your path. You will later find that your were almost always walking someone else’s path and that is why things haven’t been working for you as you’d hope. You weren’t walking YOUR TRUTH! YOUR PATH! It is time to let go of the shame that others will bring to you. Let go of the guilt you will feel because you are not meeting THEIR expectations.

It is your life to choose what is best for YOU! But take the time to balance this out. Let go and surrender. You will find the surrender of what is no longer yours to be a freedom unlike any other. Little by little you will come back to your path. It will become familiar to you as you move along connecting you to YOU. Connecting yourself to the All-ness of our Universe. 

Sit still to come back to You. It will be filled with struggle but you will start to know what it means/feels to be whole. To be one. 

Sending Love and Good Intent,

An Awakened Soul